This is a bit of a fun thought experiment and no insult or injury is intended to my turntablist friends, but it is (semi-) amusing to contemplate, all the same.
What would happen if projectionists, at movie houses and cinemas, behaved in the same way that disk jockeys, at discos, clubs and raves, behaved?
- Change their names to PJ <whatever their name is>?
- Launch a range of self-branded street attire?
- Wear sunglasses at night and baseball caps backward?
- Cause people that want to go and see a movie to ask, “Who’s the PJ tonight?”
- Have bigger billing, on the front of house marquee, than the film they were playing?
- Wear a lot of ostentatious jewellery and bling?
- Change the way they speak, to affect a street cred accent?
- Insert selfies at regular intervals, during the movie screening?
- Cut between two different movies, using stutter effects?
- While playing the movie, insert reel stops and restarts, or scratch effects?
- Refuse to project anything that isn’t white-labelled?
- Regard calls from the audience to “focus” as akin to a DJ being asked to “turn it down”?
- Dance and gesticulate, while the movie plays, in front of the audience?
- Speed up slow action sequences so that they can do a crossfade edit with a car chase?
- Engage in bitter turf wars over who gets to project movies?
- Make shout-outs to the audience, mid-movie?
- Talk over the dialogue whenever they feel moved to do so?
- Remix movies, on the fly, so that the scenes appear in a different order?
- Refuse to project movies that they consider are too main stream?
- Insist on a cut of the door takings?
- Insist on free drink tickets?
- Say, “You want me to project what?!” a lot?
- Turn the projector lamp up, way too bright?
- Put every film into its own obscure sub genre and refuse to project films outside of their favourite sub genre?
- Play one frame out of every ten and call it minimal or glitch?
Perhaps not 🙂