My friend and mentor, Janet Whitehead, of Musings and Mud Coaching Studio http://www.musingsandmud.com/home.html is so often right. She also happens to live near the centre of the universe, which I was delighted to learn recently (http://www.tourismkamloops.com/home_showSection_ID_449.html).
Wisdom is rare, so I am sharing this piece of wisdom, which Janet shared with me.
Don’t make New Year’s resolutions. What you need is a revelation. You had a good plan for your creative agenda on December 30th, right? And you were making progress, at the rate that is comfortable for you, along that path, right? And nothing much changed on December 31st. You were happy with how you were doing, grateful for your talents and for those who love you. You were ok with yourself and happy with who you are.
Why, oh why does that have to change on January 1st? For no reason!
Please, be kind to yourself and to others, forgiving of perceived shortcomings in yourself and in others, less judgemental on those around you and on your own soul, encouraging to all, grateful for everything you have. Keep loving. Keep creating.
That’s the same goals for the entire year. Those are valid goals for every day of your life. There is no reason to especially beat yourself up on New Year’s Day for things you haven’t done yet or for things you think you have failed at. You don’t need the extra pressure. If you learned something, you didn’t fail at all. Procrastination has its place and its purpose. We are not mechanical creating machines. We are humans. We have mammalian needs.
If you did great things this year, that’s wonderful. Hopefully you will do some more in the coming days and months. They might be better things or they might be less good, but the miracle is that you do them at all. In fact, your very existence is a somewhat unlikely miracle, in the indifference and vastness of the cosmos, when you come to think about it. It’s worth being quietly amazed at what you achieve simply by surviving.
If the previous year had some unpleasant or unwelcome aspects to it, I’m afraid the chance of that happening this year is about the same. It’s part of life. However, in every unpleasant or unwelcome event is the chance for change, for renewal, for growth, for learning or even for becoming more empathic. That might seem like a consolation prize, compared to the best that could have happened for you, but it’s what makes your character. You are who you are because of what you have dealt with and what you will yet deal with.
On the other hand, there were probably some sublime, excellent things that happened to you last year. Those are just as likely this year, too. In fact, why shouldn’t you be lucky and happy this year? Why would you be uniquely undeserving? Celebrate the fact that you could have a brilliant year this year, whether you make that happen or not. Your part is to notice. Your part is to keep being who you are and making the things you like to make, so that you’re happiest most of the time. Happiness, to a very large degree, is not something that happens to you, it’s something you make.
This is not a bleak New Year’s message. It is a message of calm. Don’t worry about resolutions. You are probably a pretty resolute person already. Don’t worry about anything. What will happen, will happen and worrying about stuff that doesn’t happen is a sheer waste of time, mental energy and happiness. Meanwhile, pursue your dreams, live your goals, be true to yourself and be satisfied with all you have done so far.
Try to live an uncomplicated life. Julian Lennon posted this on facebook, recently:
Wishing you all a New Year filled with all the things that are going to be there for you, no matter what.